Littlebixxie’s 5 Steps to Self Love

Sometimes I get stuck in ‘why does he/she/they dislike me?‘ mode, and even if it’s someone I don’t care about and just want to be civil towards, it gets to me. So rather than going down the rabbit hole of reasons why people dislike me, I’m going to remind myself of 5 steps to self love that I often follow.

Steps to Self Love 1 – CBT

No, not cock and ball torture… But if that helps you – great! I’m talking about “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy”. Situation, feelings, automatic negative thought, evidence towards that thought, evidence against that thought, an alternative thought and alternative feelings towards the situation.

Steps to Self Love 2 – Selfies!

Cute ones, pretty ones, naughty ones, filthy ones, sexy ones. I take selfies and remind myself of 3 things:

  1. I am alright looking.
  2. We all have the ability to take 100 pictures in 100 poses and have 1 of them look super hot, so…
  3. I shouldn’t compare myself to others.

Littlebixxie's 5 Steps to Self Love

Steps to Self Love 3 – The List

I sometimes list the things that I like about me. This was a huge help to me way before I understood CBT. I liked a guy 10 years older than me and he liked me and I didn’t understand why he stopped pursuing me. I wrote down simple things that were great about me. Not superficial things. Sometimes they were nice things people had said about me (that I have a kind heart, that I am resilient, that I’m a majestic seamstress of the highest order, that I’m an inspiration as an entrepreneur). Sometimes they were things that I was achieving that I never thought I would ever achieve. It stopped me caring about the haters. Haters gonna hate.

Steps to Self Love 4 – Run, Bixxie! Run!

I started running about 5 years ago. Not only is it a nice way to clear my head, to let it all out, but it’s another way I can prove to myself that I can kick ass when I try. Rather than wasting energy being cold and bitter like all those ‘friends’ who turned away from me, I’m using my energy to improve my health, my stamina and my self esteem. Eating well kind of goes hand in hand with running for me so it also makes me feel like I’m treating myself like a ‘goddess‘. Avocados and cardio are the ingredients for that super hot body I want to have and keep.

Steps to Self Love 5 – Reflect

I reflect on my achievements over the years. I look at how far I’ve come. I count my blessings. The faces have changed along the way but the true friends stick around and still believe in me. I’ve got a loyal customer base. I’ve following my dreams. I’ve keeping my head above water. I have my business, my family, my partner, my friends and I’ve kept them all by not being a total bitch and letting go of phony friends and no good men. I’ve banished the critical voices by proving them wrong with hard work, dedication and passion. I am all I need to be. I am enough.


Hippie at heart. I love creating things. New to the world of kink. Discovering my submissive side and my love of receiving pain. I mostly write erotica. Not hugely into Doctor Who, with the exception of David Tennant.

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Littlebixxie’s 5 Steps to Self Love

by littlebixxie time to read: 3 min
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