OK so this is a personal one for me and I was lucky I am pretty out at work (the other job), so here’s what to do running Into a fetlifer in the real world so my work colleague I was with knew of the night in question but stood in the que in MAPLINS of all places a geeky tech shop in the UK bit like radio shack for my Yank members. I had been in the store walked the isles and picked up a few bits got to the check out and was 2nd in line when I heard a shout from behind the till from a guy I had seen at Filth (a local fetish night) saying oh are the the guy that was in the bed sheet the other night at Filth….. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK HERE A HOLE OPENED UP, you see I am with someone not the person he saw me with he saw I was in a work top and you OUT me in front of everyone! So here’s the Do’s and Do NOT’s, say you’re walking home from work, passing by a busy Starbucks and, suddenly, it happens.

You see them or me 

Playing on a phone while waiting for a low-fat latte(like that’s going to happen)! OH MY GOD yes it’s that kinky fucker you’re following on Fetlife is feet from you, in the flesh!

Before you pull a complete boner and make a total ass of yourself; make sure you remember the Do’s and Do NOT’s when running into a Fetlifer in the wild. Many are shy, timid creatures who get easily spooked so take a few minutes and review this handy checklist before you make a complete ass of yourself.

The DO’s When Running Into a Fetlifer in the Real World

• DO keep your distance. Much like a wild animal, the average Fetlifer is unpredictable when approached in person by someone they don’t know

• DO avoid staring and pointing, while whispering under your breath to your friend. Didn’t your mother tell you it’s not polite to point?

• DO not scream the person’s Fetlife name out-loud to get their attention. Nothing can make a person more uncomfortable then someone yelling ‘Hey, DICKWORSHIPPINGWHORE78!” to them across a busy coffee shop

• DO assess your relationship before sending the person a message the next day on Fetlife, telling them you saw them in person. Have you been carrying on communication with this person, or will this be your first contact with them? Because, let me tell you, there is nothing more a person loooooves than getting a new message from some stranger on here that starts ‘So, I saw you Friday at the grocery store…’ Can you say creepy?

The DO NOT’s When Running Into a Fetlifer in the Real World

• DO NOT APPROACH THEM. EVER!!!