NRE and Why Polyamory Helps with Dopamine Regulation
In the realm of my and many others’ relationships, there’s a term that often surfaces New Relationship Energy (NRE). It refers to the euphoric, exhilarating and just freaking awesome feeling we experience when embarking on a new romantic connection. NRE is often accompanied by a surge of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward (yeah getting high on LOVE). While NRE can be a blissful phase, it’s crucial to understand its potential impact on our emotional well-being. In this blog post, we will explore how polyamory, a relationship style that allows for multiple loving connections, can help regulate dopamine and create healthier relationship dynamics.
The Chemistry of NRE!
To comprehend why NRE can be both exhilarating and challenging, we need to delve into the neurochemistry behind it. When we engage in novel experiences or form new romantic bonds, our brain releases dopamine, triggering feelings of euphoria, motivation, and intense focus. This natural high can lead to increased energy, amplified senses, and a desire to spend every waking moment with our new partner.
NRE can be likened to a drug-induced state, and just like any intoxicating substance, it comes with its own set of risks. As relationship coach John Gottman wisely puts it, “Newly-in-love couples disregard their partner’s negative traits“. While this blind spot can feel fantastic initially, it often leads to unrealistic expectations and a distorted view of our new partner.
Polyamory and Dopamine Regulation
This is where polyamory comes into the picture as a potential solution. Polyamorous relationships, built on open and consensual agreements, provide individuals with the opportunity to explore multiple connections simultaneously. By diversifying their romantic landscape, polyamorous individuals can better manage the rollercoaster of NRE.
Psychologist Esther Perel highlights the benefits of polyamory, stating, “When you’re not relying on one person to provide all your emotional and sexual needs, the weight on that one relationship is lessened.” By distributing our emotional investment across multiple relationships, we reduce the likelihood of becoming overly consumed by NRE.
Polyamory encourages open communication, boundary-setting, and compersion a term used to describe the joy experienced when witnessing a partner’s happiness with someone else. This approach fosters a sense of autonomy and agency in relationships, allowing individuals to navigate the highs and lows of NRE with greater emotional balance.
Promoting Emotional Intelligence
Polyamory not only helps regulate dopamine but also promotes the development of emotional intelligence. When engaging in multiple relationships, individuals must hone their communication skills, actively engage in introspection, and cultivate a deep understanding of their own emotional needs. As psychotherapist Elisabeth Sheff argues, “Polyamory forces you to develop relationship skills that aren’t necessary in monogamous relationships.” The practice of polyamory compels individuals to navigate complex emotions, confront jealousy, and communicate their desires openly and honestly. These skills, honed in polyamorous relationships, can be beneficial in all areas of life.
Embracing the Spectrum of Love
One of the most significant advantages of polyamory is its ability to celebrate the spectrum of human connection. By recognizing that love is not a finite resource, but rather an abundant force, polyamory encourages a broader understanding of intimacy and relationships. Relationship coach and author Tristan Taormino writes, “Polyamory is not about spreading love thin, but rather about opening our hearts and expanding our capacity for love.” Instead of viewing new connections as a threat to existing ones, polyamory encourages individuals to embrace the diversity of human connection and expand their capacity for love, fostering a profound sense of acceptance and personal growth.
While NRE can be exhilarating,
It’s crucial to recognize its potential pitfalls and actively work towards maintaining emotional balance. Polyamory offers a unique approach to regulating dopamine and managing the intensity of NRE. By embracing open communication, compersion, and emotional intelligence, polyamorous individuals can navigate the exhilarating highs and inevitable challenges of NRE with grace and fulfillment. Remember, love is not a limited resource it’s a boundless and ever-expanding force waiting to be explored.
