SELF-LOVE AND SEXUALITY
Sexuality in our modern world is tricky and somewhat a touchy subject.
Expression & Oppression of female sexuality is all over the place.
Sexuality is something that is controlled and regulated just look at America with the abortion laws, the world of body standards based on photoshopped models or this bull shit of male vs female nipples on Instagram (Check out the many free the nipple accounts) what this all means is what women and a lot of none cis people can’t do with their bodies or look the way they want.
Now I know I am a guy (yeah a Pan Cis guy) but I feel like this blog gives me a voice to help change, I am going through a series of attempts to rebuild myself after my fiance upped and left, and I am very sexually open, I write here all the time, I kick up conversations that allow people to feel open to ask questions to learn from one another and try my hardest to break this shit down. I am a father of two and with this I want the world to be better for them. So I am going to do more of a collection of posts on various matters that are relevant to you being a modern and sexual person.
Let’s start with self-love
“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”
Henry James
This is a great one to get us started, Self-love, something that a lot of us whether we care to admit it or even be conscious of it, really don’t do enough of. We feel like we are not insecure. Yet are stuck thinking about a milestone birthday as a crisis that would define us, say we are not a jealous type, but they’ll give a mean-spirited name to the lover of an ex despite never having met them. I feel we are all particularly bad when it comes to self-love, both intellectual and physical. So here are some steps to love your self.
Find your truth and exception when the inner critic or an outer critic attacks.
“Turn down the lights, turn down the bed. Turn down these voices inside my head.”
I Can’t Make You Love Me, Bonnie Raitt
Your very own inner critic may not always say nice things about you, and the people around you may attack you or try to bring you down to serve one of their own needs.
The thing to do is ask yourself this question: What is the exception to this though?
This is very effective to change your train of thoughts, to find the truth and to not get down on yourself. For example, if you or someone says that you are not doing a good job in school then you can ask the question and find answers that tell you that isn’t really true.
If you question the attack and look for the exception you may, for instance, see that you are actually doing a good job in most of your courses, but maybe a bit unfocused and lazy in only a couple of areas. That is a more nuanced truth that helps you rather than just brings you down.
Take 2 minutes in the morning to appreciate you.
You need to be kinder and more balanced and look at your self-image by making a quick and daily habit to appreciate yourself. So here’s what you do, sit down with a journal on your phone, computer or in paper form and ask yourself:
What are 3 things I can appreciate about myself?
It could be that you are a good listener or are doing well with your hobby right now. Or that you have a love for animals, people or music. It doesn’t have to be big things either. Maybe just that you flossed or brushed your teeth this morning. The important thing is to appreciate yourself both for the little things and the things you may take for granted.
Masturbation yeah have a play.
Playing with yourself can provide both a sense of independence, especially when single, by not relying on a partner for sexual satisfaction as well as continued self-pleasure to supplement your sex life while in a relationship. An important aspect of masturbation, that can often be overlooked, is the simplistic fact that it acquaints yourself with your own body. Learning what feels good for you, and what doesn’t. This alone can lessen sexual frustrations within an intimate relationship, affording better peace of mind.
More benefits of masturbation:
- Enhances overall sexual well-being and increases sexual satisfaction
- Relieves tension & stress
- Has the potential to lessen menstrual cramps
- Increases sexual responsiveness and orgasmic potential
- Can increase sexual self-esteem/body image
- Increases sexual agency and confidence by being self-reliant in achieving pleasure
- Induces relaxation, which can help you fall asleep at night
- Happens to be the safest form of sex
- Can cure headaches
- It feels good!
Take control of your own uniquely beautiful sexuality. There is a myriad of ways that you can masturbate: hand or a solo sex toy, with or without lube, in the shower or bedroom… so go about your favorite way or try something new and masturbate today for your sexual health!
