10 Commandments of BDSM (Not Set in Stone… any Amendments?)

So we’ve all seen this type of thing around the web, but this one i found from a friend she decided to give it a go & unlike Moses’, this list isn’t set in stone. I would love to hear your thoughts! 🙂

1. Remain CALM by negotiating first in BDSM.

C: Communication

What safewords / slow words / nonverbal signals will you use?
In what other ways might you communicate during play?

A: Aftercare

What “counts” as aftercare for each partner (including the top)?
What kinds of activities bring you “back to reality”?

L: Limits

What are your “hard” limits? What limits are you willing to push?
These vary over time; check in regularly!

M: Medical & Mental Health

Be aware of medical conditions.
Ask, “How are you feeling today? Physically? Mentally?”

2. Do not allow your orientation to cut you off from yourself.

Dominance and submission (D/s) are two sides of a slash, but each is one whole person.
Practice strong submission. Promote vulnerable dominance.

3. Face your fears.

Show willingness to grow by identifying and exploring your fears among the people you care about.

4. Expect imperfection.

Strive for the play of your dreams – and recognize that part of the fun is in the process of getting there.

5. Play out of a desire to connect.

This isn’t about the past, or about that one porn video. It’s about this connection, with this person, right now.

6. Do not strike out of malice, even if the other person consents to being hit.

It can be alright to externalize anger through BDSM; it is not alright to resolve resentment by hitting a partner.

7. Have the courage to say, “I want…”

Own your desires, and a good partner will, too.

8. Be open.

It’s better to share it (and laugh later) than hide it. Be willing to learn a loved one’s kink, even if it’s not yours.

9. Be real.

Tops: Your toppiness or dominance is an expression of you – sometimes, an enhancement of your strengths.

Bottoms: Show your dominant what to overtake. Embrace yourself – and the limitations of your power.

10. Be at play.

We call it “play” for a reason. Enjoy your partner and have fun!

Check out other posts by Sonya