Submission & Journalling- the importance of being earnest
This is a writing, stating my opinion as to why I think submissive should journal.
I was asked by my Master to write something about journalling. When I started this I thought it would be really easy but it turned out being a lot harder than I had thought.
Journalling no matter how frustrating can be one of the most important elements contributed by a submissive in a D/s type relationship.
Journaling dates back many centuries ago. It is said that some of the first diaries not used as historical records were written by Japanese women in the tenth century. The ladies of the royal courts used diaries as a form of expression that explored subjective fantasies and fiction not just external realities. Rather than a daily entries, they used the ‘new’ formate to record the writers inner calendar of feelings and events.
Interestingly, the Japanese’s earliest diaries shine brightly as part of a literary golden age; a period of peace, prosperity and cultural sophistication. Yet in medieval Europe and England the concept of the diary was mysterious and full of magic. Diaries were keep by ‘witches’ attempting to store their wisdom and pagan rituals banned by the spread and influence of the Roman Catholic religion. So it is really no wonder where the taboo of silence and secrecy associated with journals and diaries that exists in western culture was born from.
Journaling has become a style of cathartic writing. It is done under pressure of intense emotion that calls for immediate expression. In many cases, this is the style of writing that we use. A submissive should use their journals to express desires, intimate details, concerns, issues, daily activities, emotions, reactions to situations, and any more issues that a submissive may find hard to express in words.
At the start of my path to submission I found talking in a respectful manner one of the hardest things to do. Journaling made it a lot easier to get my point and opinion across to my Master.
So from this point I better specify that I’m not talking about a personal journal that one would keep a secret; I’m talking about a journal that is owned by your dominant but belongs to you. If you find that concept hard to understand- simply put, everything you write down will be viewed by your dominate on a daily basis.
This is a pathway for communication to be opened up between a dominant and their submissive. In some cases it is hard for a submissive to talk about what they need to express. Journaling is a safe place for a submissive to write down how they feel about particular things. All the good, bad and the ugly with no fear of reprimand due to how she is feeling or what she has said. That is why it is such an important process.
An important note is to make sure that you journal positive parts of your situations as much as you journal the negatives. Negatives are a lot easier to write as its a release from your emotion, where positives are harder to make flow and represent correctly. Even though its harder to journal the positives, Dominants need to read the good in your life as well.
An easy format to follow:
- Daily activities,
- Emotional reactions to those activities
- Problems you may have
- Negatives
- Positives
- Fears
- Fantasies
(Always try ending on a good note)
Rules for journaling The dominant-
- Everything journaled is to be discussed in a quite and respectful manner.
- A submissive should never be punished for what is written in their journal.
- If the journal is very negative you may need to leave it a while before the issue is acknowledged and addressed.
- When items are being discussed; make sure the submissive understands that they are not in trouble and that their opinion matters.
- Makes sure their point is heard even if it is ludicrous (remember many of their points are developed due to emotion and not fact)
- Always acknowledge that the submissive has done well by Journalling whether it positive or negative, and that they have been heard.
- Understand that it’s a struggle to let another in.
Journaling is an important link between the D & the S in the D/s. It is the link between the submissive conscious mind and the dominants understanding of what is happening in it. Humans have a tendency to lie when asked what’s wrong, so by creating a way to open a path of communication we have allowed the Dominate the means to become a virtual psychic using a ‘crystal ball’.
So why do I journal?
I journal for all of the reasons above and so much more.
I can conquer my emotions, be honest to my Master, allows myself some freedoms I don’t usually have and it’s a self therapy. It’s a place were I can find clarity and almost rehearse behaviours I know will accrue. I love Master having a constant link to my mind, he knows exactly what is going on with me at any given time, at any given moment. He knows when my submissive head space is strong or fading and he is always a moment away to help if I need him, as he already knows where I’m at.
The D/s journal is a path way to creating a phenomenal relationship. If I did not have my journal I don’t think I would be able to be as open and honest with my Master as I need to be. It’s a hard process to allow a human into your mind and to know everything about yourself. But honestly it’s the most amazing feeling when your relationship progresses to the point of being able to be completely open with no fear of disappointing. My D/s is about growing and this I believe is one of the most important ways of growth.
(Again- my opinion and ideas. Of course It’s ok to disagree but please be respect.)
